Julia's Adventure!

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(text-style:"shudder")[//BRRRT BRRRT BRRRT.//] Julia stirs in her nest of blankets. //Who'd be dumb enough to call me at 7AM?// she thinks, one hand emerging from the cozy crysalis. [[She looks at the screen.->→ She looks at the screen.]]

(text-style:"bold","buoy")[Julia's PWC Adventure!] [[Our story begins....]] --- (text-style:"italic")+(text-colour:white)[''Content Warning:'' - Fantasy violence - Mild language (ble*ped c^rse words)] (set: $hasChicken to false) (set: $hasCanesword to false) (set: $hasCorkscrew to false) (set: $hasBlowdart to false) (set: $isUnarmed to true) (set: $hasArmor to false) (set: $hasKey to false) (set: $hasDragonmask to false) (set: $hasTarwater to false) (set: $hasMagehand to false) (set: $hasProtection to false) (set: $hasShowChoir to false) (set: $hasTimestop to false) (set: $hasCopyroomCheck to false) (set: $hasJBDeskCheck to false) (set: $hasKitchenCheck to false) (set: $Quitter to false) (set: $Quitter2 to false) (set: $Quitter3 to false) (set: $Quitter4 to false) (set: $Quitter5 to false) (set: $Quitter6 to false)

//"Jeremy Cohen"// the screen reads. --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Answer the phone.->→ She answers the phone.]] [[→ Silence the call.->→ She silences the call.]]

Julia tosses her phone aside and burrows back into the heaping blanket pile. She's almost back to sleep, [[when...]]

"Julia Brown!" Jeremy shouts. "Come quick! It's a PWC //emergency!//" --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Hop to, JB! You heard the man!]] [[→ Wait, what?]]

(text-style:"shudder")[//BRRRT.//] (text-style:"shudder")[//BRRRT.//] (text-style:"shudder")[//BRRRT.//] (text-style:"shudder")[//BRRRT.//] [[She relents, answering the call.->→ She answers the phone.]]

She's out of bed in a flash. "Details, Cohen!" Julia growls, slipping on sneakers. "A huge batch of fellowship applications arrived today!" Jeremy moans. //"Hard copy!"// "Say no more. Julia's on the case!" In two minutes flat, she's out the door and [[on her way. -> → Julia leaves her room.]]

"What in the name of Carlyle Brown are you talking about, Cohen?" she asks. "A huge batch of fellowship applications arrived today," Jeremy moans. //"Hard copy!"// [[Julia sighs and tosses aside the covers. -> → Julia leaves her room.]]

(text-style:"smear")+(text-colour:orange)[---] The morning sun is just cresting the Seward rooftops as Julia pulls into the PWC parking lot. She steps out of her car, keys jingling as [[she approaches the building. ->Enters PWC.]]

Julia steps inside, the familiar sights and smells of the Center greeting her. Except... something feels off. She notices a strange glowing light coming from the elevator. --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Investigate. -> Inside Elevator.]] [[→ Continue on. -> First stairwell.]]

The metal groans as Julia steps aboard the ancient elevator. She investigates, discovering that the unnatural glow is coming from //behind// the control panel. --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Rip that sucker off! -> Elevator panel.]] [[→ Report it to Jasmine. -> Leaves Elevator.]]

Julia hurries up and then down the stairs, toward the main office. As she lifts her keys to unlock the door, she notices something... (if: $hasChicken is true)[The //pling, plang, plong// of piano keys, coming from the rehearsal studio.](if: $hasCanesword is true)[The //pling, plang, plong// of piano keys, coming from the rehearsal studio.](if: $hasCorkscrew is true)[The //pling, plang, plong// of piano keys, coming from the rehearsal studio.](if: $hasBlowdart is true)[The //pling, plang, plong// of piano keys, coming from the rehearsal studio.](if: $hasChicken is false)+(if: $hasCanesword is false)+(if: $hasCorkscrew is false)+(if: $hasBlowdart is false)[A faint ethereal whisper, coming from the bathroom:] (if: $hasChicken is false)+(if: $hasCanesword is false)+(if: $hasCorkscrew is false)+(if: $hasBlowdart is false)+(text-colour:magenta)+(text-style:"sway")[//"This will help you, hero...."//] --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] (if: $hasChicken is false)+(if: $hasCanesword is false)+(if: $hasCorkscrew is false)+(if: $hasBlowdart is false)[[→ Head to the bathroom. -> Bathroom.]] [[→ Continue into the office. -> Into main office.]] (if: $hasChicken is true)[[→ Pull out her rubber chicken and investigate the rehearsal studio. -> Rehearsal Studio.]](if: $hasCanesword is true)[[→ Tighten her grip on the canesword and investigate the rehearsal studio. -> Rehearsal Studio.]](if: $hasCorkscrew is true)[[→ Ready her corkscrew and investigate the rehearsal studio. -> Rehearsal Studio.]](if: $hasBlowdart is true)[[→ Ready the blowdart and investigate the rehearsal studio. -> Rehearsal Studio.]]

(text-style:"shudder")["Grrrrrah!"] Julia roars with effort as she yanks the panel free! She shields her eyes from the brightening glow as she fishes around behind the panel. --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia find?//''] [[→ Something blunt.-> Rubber Chicken!]] [[→ Something sharp.-> Canesword!]] [[→ Something twisty.-> Corkscrew!]] [[→ Something pointy.-> Blowdart!]]

"Well, //that// can't be up to code," Julia mutters. She makes a mental note to report the strange sight to Jasmine. She steps out of the elevator and [[continues on her way. -> First stairwell.]]

(set: $isUnarmed to false) (set: $hasChicken to true) Julia pulls out... a rubber chicken. //Not bad,// she thinks. She swings the chicken-club in a two-handed grip, testing its balance. She tucks the weapon into her purse and [[continues on her way. -> First stairwell.]]

(set: $isUnarmed to false) (set: $hasCanesword to true) Julia pulls out... a canesword. //Oooh, shiny!// she thinks before slipping the silvery sword back into its wooden, cane-shaped sheath. She tucks the weapon into her belt and [[continues on her way. -> First stairwell.]]

(set: $isUnarmed to false) (set: $hasCorkscrew to true) Julia pulls out... a battery-powered corkscrew. She pushes the power button and watches the tiny metal spiral spin with a quiet //buzzzzzz.// Julia tucks the weapon into her purse and [[continues on her way. -> First stairwell.]]

(set: $isUnarmed to false) (set: $hasBlowdart to true) Julia pulls out... a blow dart. //Huh,// she thinks, examining the razor-pointed darts. //I haven't seen one of these since high school!// She tucks the weapon into her pocket and [[continues on her way. -> First stairwell.]]

Julia eases the bathroom door open and... (text-colour:magenta)+(text-style:"sway")[//pfffft.//] A puff of [[floral fragrance fills the air.->Bathroom 2]]

Discordant music fills the air as Julia pushes open the door to reveal... (link: "//click to reveal...//")[(text-colour:red)+(text-style:"rumble")[A ZOMBIE PIANO-TUNER!] He lunges from the piano bench, attacking!] --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Flee! -> QUITTER2]] (if: $hasChicken is true)[[→ Chicken attack!]](if: $hasCanesword is true)[[→ Canesword attack!]](if: $hasCorkscrew is true)[[→ Corkscrew attack!]](if: $hasBlowdart is true)[[→ Blowdart attack!]](if: $isUnarmed is true)[[→ Punch 'em!]]

"What a strange way to start a workday," Julia grumbles, unlocking the main office door and stepping inside. --- (text-colour:grey)[''//Where does Julia go next?//''] [[→ Head to her desk. ->Julia's Desk]] [[→ Peek into the copyroom. ->Copyroom]] [[→ Move down the aisle, deeper into the office. ->Main Office, Left Aisle]]

"Yeeeeah I'm good, thanks, haunted-air-freshener," Julia says. --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Go back into the bathroom. ->Return to bathroom.]] [[→ Head into the office. -> Into main office.]] (if: $Quitter is false)[[[→ "I'm gettin' the eff outta here!" she says, leaving. ->QUITTER.]]]

With a powerful swing, Julia bludgeons the Zombie Piano Tuner, sending its limp body splaying across the keys: surprisingly harmonious. "I guess that's your... //Un//death Knell," she says, slipping the rubber chicken back into her purse strap and heading [[back down the hallway. -> Into main office.]]

With a bold slash, Julia whips her sword across the Zombie Piano Tuner's torso, downing the creature. "Talk about an F sharp," Julia chuckles as she re-sheaths the sword and strides [[back down the hallway. -> Into main office.]]

The corkscrew buzzes to life! Julia stabs the Zombie Piano Tuner, sending a spray of undead gore across the white piano. "Look what //I'm// not cleaning up," Julia says as she stows the corkscrew and heads [[back down the hallway. -> Into main office.]]

Fueled by Julia's powerful, choir-trained lungs, a dart erupts from the blowtube, piercing the Zombie Piano Tuner in the chest. He falls prone. "We aren't paying for that," she says, shooting a glance at the piano. She stows the blowdart and heads [[back down the hallway. -> Into main office.]]

(set: $hasJBDeskCheck to true) She steps into her cozy-cluttered cubicle, with its colorful post-its and towering stacks of paper. //Huh,// she thinks, noticing a laptop. //I don't remember leaving that here....// --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Investigate the laptop. ->Traptop]] [[→ Ignore the laptop and look for the applications. ->Look for apps]] [[→ Leave the cubicle. ->Back to aisle.]]

(set: $hasCopyroomCheck to true) Julia flicks the light on, illuminating the the wall of mail slots and the hulking behemoth of the industrial copier/printer. "Hey, Uncle Ricoh," she says, giving the machine a fond pat. --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do next?//''] [[→ Search for the applications. ->Stapler attack!]] [[→ Explore the kitchen. ->Kitchen]] [[→ Go back to the main office aisle. ->Back to aisle.]]

Julia walks through the office. She passes Dan's cubicle and Jasmine's desk, "Devo alley" with its Jayhawk pendant. She comes to the end of the aisle, with Hannah's cubicle to her left, Jeremy's darkened office in front of her. --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Knock on Jeremy's door. ->JC's door.]] [[→ Look for desk chocolate. ->Hannah's Cube.]]

The gentle voice returns. (text-colour:magenta)["'Tis I... the PWC //Scent//inal."] (text-colour:magenta)["You are the one called Julia?"] --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Answer yes.->Bathroom truth]] [[→ Answer no.->Bathroom lie]] [[→ Say nothing.->Bathroom silence]]

(text-colour:magenta)["Come, Julia...."] (text-colour:magenta)["Claim your weapon and slay the dark powers that have taken root at the PWC."] A tendril of pink smoke curls from the Scentinal's plastic casing and drifts across the room, settling on the wooden storage crate. --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Open the crate. ->Bathroom Weapons]] [[→ Back slowly out of the bathroom. ->Back out of bathroom]]

The voice chuckles. (text-colour:magenta)["Come now, Julia, I've watched you pee for years..."] (text-colour:magenta)["I am here to help...."] A tendril of pink smoke curls from the Scentinal's plastic casing and drifts across the room, settling on the wooden storage crate. --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Open the crate. ->Bathroom Weapons]] [[→ Back slowly out of the bathroom. ->Back out of bathroom]]

The voice chuckles. (text-colour:magenta)["You need not speak, Julia... I've watched you pee for years..."] (text-colour:magenta)["I am only here to help...."] A tendril of pink smoke curls from the Scentinal's plastic casing and drifts across the room, settling on the wooden storage crate. --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Open the crate. ->Bathroom Weapons]] [[→ Back slowly out of the bathroom. ->Back out of bathroom]]

Julia reaches a tentative hand into the crate, pushing past toilet paper and abandoned script pages.... --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia find?//''] [[→ Something blunt.-> Rubber Chicken!2]] [[→ Something sharp.-> Canesword!2]] [[→ Something twisty.-> Corkscrew!2]] [[→ Something pointy.-> Blowdart!2]]

(text-colour:magenta)[//"Wait!"//] the voice pleads. (text-colour:magenta)["You will need my aid if you hope to survive..."] --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Move to the crate. ->Bathroom Weapons]] [[→ Turn and flee. -> Return to the hallway.]]

(set: $isUnarmed to false) (set: $hasChicken to true) Julia pulls out... a rubber chicken. //Not bad,// she thinks, swinging the chicken-club in a two-handed grip, testing its balance. She tucks the weapon into her purse and [[leaves through the door. ->Post-Bathroom Stairwell.]]

Julia emerges from the bathroom. (if: $hasChicken is true)[Suddenly, she hears the //pling, plang, plong// of piano keys, coming from the rehearsal studio.](if: $hasCanesword is true)[Suddenly, she hears the //pling, plang, plong// of piano keys, coming from the rehearsal studio.](if: $hasCorkscrew is true)[Suddenly, she hears the //pling, plang, plong// of piano keys, coming from the rehearsal studio.](if: $hasBlowdart is true)[Suddenly, she hears the //pling, plang, plong// of piano keys, coming from the rehearsal studio.](if: $isUnarmed is true)[Suddenly, she hears the //pling, plang, plong// of piano keys, coming from the rehearsal studio.] --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Continue into the office. -> Into main office.]] (if: $hasChicken is true)[[→ Pull out her rubber chicken and investigate the rehearsal studio. -> Rehearsal Studio.]](if: $hasCanesword is true)[[→ Tighten her grip on the canesword and investigate the rehearsal studio. -> Rehearsal Studio.]](if: $hasCorkscrew is true)[[→ Ready her corkscrew and investigate the rehearsal studio. -> Rehearsal Studio.]](if: $hasBlowdart is true)[[→ Ready the blowdart and investigate the rehearsal studio. -> Rehearsal Studio.]](if: $isUnarmed is true)[[→ Investigate the rehearsal studio. -> Rehearsal Studio.]]

(text-colour:magenta)["Ah, good."] (text-colour:magenta) ["I knew you'd come to your //scent-//ses."] --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Move to the crate. ->Bathroom Weapons]] [[→ Roll her eyes. ->Rolls her eyes.]]

(text-colour:red)[''JULIA BROWN IS NOT A QUITTER.''] (text-colour:red)[''JULIA BROWN WOULD NOT RUN.''] [[Get back in there ya' coward. -> Return to the hallway.]] (set: $Quitter to true)

(text-colour:red)[''JULIA BROWN WOULD NEVER GIVE UP.''] (text-colour:red)[''JULIA BROWN WOULD NEVER GIVE IN.''] [[Get back in there ya' coward. -> Return to the studio.]] (set: $Quitter2 to true)

As Julia re-enters the studio, the Zombie Piano Tuner pounces! (if: $hasChicken is true)[This time, [[she doesn't hesitate!->→ Chicken attack!]]](if: $hasCanesword is true)[This time, [[she doesn't hesitate!->→ Canesword attack!]]](if: $hasCorkscrew is true)[This time, [[she doesn't hesitate!->→ Corkscrew attack!]]](if: $hasBlowdart is true)[This time, [[she doesn't hesitate!->→ Blowdart attack!]]](if: $isUnarmed is true)[This time, [[she doesn't hesitate!->→ Smack 'em!]]]

(text-colour:magenta)["Oh, just //take// it already, geez."] Julia moves to [[examine the wooden crate. ->Bathroom Weapons]]

Julia opens the laptop and... (link: "//click to reveal...//")[(text-colour:blue)+(text-style:"shudder")[''A TSUNAMI OF UNANSWERED EMAILS!''] She is //buried// under a heaping pile of inane questions, like "Can I talk to Jerome?" She tries desperately to claw her way free! Then, she feels something [[take her hand.... ->Plant friend.]]]

Julia searches all around her cubicle, but finds no sign of these hard copy applications. --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] (if: $hasCopyroomCheck is false)[[[→ Investigate the mail room. ->Copyroom]]] (if: $hasKitchenCheck is false)[[[→ Check out the kitchen. ->Kitchen]]] [[→ Move down the aisle, into the office. ->Main Office, Left Aisle]]

Julia glances around the office. All is strangely quiet, and she sees no signs of the hard copy applications Jeremy was shrieking about. --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Move down the aisle, exploring the main office. ->Main Office, Left Aisle]] (if: $hasJBDeskCheck is false)[[[→ Search her cubicle. ->Julia's Desk]]] (if: $hasCopyroomCheck is false)[[[→ Check out the mail room. ->Copyroom]]] (if: $hasKitchenCheck is false)[[[→ Head to the kitchen. ->Kitchen]]]

A long, once-leafy appendage pulls her free from the mess. "Pothos!" Julia exclaims. (text-colour:#087f5b)+(text-style:"subscript")+(text-style:"smear")[*(Parched plant smile.)*] "Sorry about that, pal," Julia says as she waters the nearly-dead plant, then continues on her mission. --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Look for the applications. ->Look for apps]] [[→ Leave the cubicle. ->Back to aisle.]]

As Julia opens the cabinets, she's suddenly attacked by... (link: "//click to reveal...//")[(text-colour:red)+(text-style:"rumble")[A SENTIENT STAPLE REMOVER!] Its razor sharp teeth //gnash// at the air as it dives for her!] --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Ahhh! Run! -> QUITTER3]] (if: $hasChicken is true)[[→ Attack with the rubber chicken! ->→ Chicken attack2!]](if: $hasCanesword is true)[[→ Attack with the canesword! ->→ Canesword attack!2]](if: $hasCorkscrew is true)[[→ Attack with the corkscrew! ->→ Corkscrew attack2!]](if: $hasBlowdart is true)[[→ Attack with the blowdart! ->→ Blowdart attack2!]] (if: $isUnarmed is true)[[→ Punch it!]]

(set: $hasTrashcheck to false) (set: $hasFridgecheck to false) Julia tiptoes into the kitchen. There's a vague smell of... rotten milk? --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Inspect the fridge. ->Fridge.]] [[→ Check the trash. ->Trashcan.]] [[→ Move into the conference room. ->Conference Room]] [[→ Go back the way she came. ->Doubleback.]] (set: $hasKitchenCheck to true)

(text-colour:red)[''JULIA BROWN DOES NOT SHY FROM DANGER.''] (text-colour:red)[''JULIA BROWN HAS THE HEART OF A LION.''] [[Get back in there ya' coward. -> Return to Stapler.]] (set: $Quitter3 to true)

(text-style:"shudder")[//''Crack!''//] Julia swings the rubber chicken like a bat. The Sentient Staple Remover flies into the wall and shatters into metallic confetti. She kicks the pieces aside and looks for the applications. //Still nothing!// --- (text-colour:grey)[''//Where does Julia go next?//''] [[→ The kitchen. ->Kitchen]] [[→ Back to the main office. ->Back to aisle.]]

(text-style:"bold")[//Shiiing!//] Julia slices the Sentient Staple Remover down the middle, sending two perfect halves clattering to the floor. She kicks the pieces aside and looks for the applications. //Still nothing!// --- (text-colour:grey)[''//Where does Julia go next?//''] [[→ The kitchen. ->Kitchen]] [[→ Back to the main office. ->Back to aisle.]]

(text-style:"bold")[//brrrrrrrrng!//] Julia pins the Sentient Staple Remover to the counter the wall with the electric corkstrew, sending showers of metal confetti to the floor. She brushes the pieces aside and again looks for the applications. //Still nothing!// --- (text-colour:grey)[''//Where does Julia go next?//''] [[→ The kitchen. ->Kitchen]] [[→ Back to the main office. ->Back to aisle.]]

(text-style:"bold")[//whooof!//] Julia shoots the Sentient Staple Remover out of the air with a perfectly placed dart. "Still got it," she thinks, holstering the blowdart tube with a little flourish. She searches for the applications. //Ugh, still nothing!// --- (text-colour:grey)[''//Where does Julia go next?//''] [[→ The kitchen. ->Kitchen]] [[→ Back to the main office. ->Back to aisle.]]

Julia returns to the copyroom and the Sentient Staple Remover goes for another strike! --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] (if: $hasChicken is true)[[[→ Attack with the rubber chicken! ->→ Chicken attack2!]]](if: $hasCanesword is true)[[[→ Attack with the canesword! ->→ Canesword attack!2]]](if: $hasCorkscrew is true)[[[→ Attack with the corkscrew! ->→ Corkscrew attack2!]]](if: $hasBlowdart is true)[[[→ Attack with the blowdart! ->→ Blowdart attack2!]]](if: $isUnarmed is true)[[[→ Attack with her fists! ->→ Punch it!]]]

(set: $hasFridgecheck to true) Julia cracks open the fridge and... "Oh, yeah, wow." She gags and shuts the door. --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do next?//''] [[→ Move into the conference room. ->Conference Room]] [[→ Go back the way she came. ->Doubleback2.]] (if: $hasTrashcheck is false)[[[→ Check the trash. ->Trashcan.]]]

(set: $hasTrashcheck to true) As she lifts the trashcan lid, Julia sees... a tiny blue humanoid. (text-colour:navy)[//"Oh! Bless you, red-haired one!"//] a tiny voice chirps. (text-colour:navy)[//"I've been trapped in here for weeks!"//] --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Reach into the bin.]] [[→ Slowly close the lid.]]

As Julia steps through the conference room doorway, she's suddenly attacked by... (link: "//click to reveal...//")[(text-colour:red)+(text-style:"rumble")[BUREAUCRATIC RED TAPE!] It twists and loops around Julia, entangling her limbs and trapping her!] --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Try to reason with it. ->QUITTER4.]] [[→ Try and attack! ->TapeAttack.]] [[→ Call for help!]]

"Not falling for //that// again..." Julia turns and leaves the stinky kitchen, walking [[back the way she came.->Main Office, Left Aisle]]

She reaches into the trashbin and scoops out... a Smurf! He tips his little white hat at Julia. (text-colour:navy)[//"Thank you, thank you!"//] Then, he pulls out a bottle of dark, viscous liquid and [[hands it to her.]]

Julia lowers the trashcan lid, blotting out the little blue figure with darkness. (text-colour:navy)[//"Wait! No! What are you-?!"//] --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ On second thought, rescue the trash-creature. ->RescueSmurf]] [[→ Move into the conference room. ->Conference Room]] (if: $hasFridgecheck is false)[[[→ Inspect the fridge. ->Fridge.]]]

(set: $hasTarwater to true) (text-colour:navy)[//"Tar Water,"//] he says. (text-colour:navy)[//"Very useful stuff!"//] Then the Smurf hops down from Julia's palm and scampers away, into the pile of recycling. --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do now?//''] [[→ Move into the conference room. ->Conference Room]] [[→ Go back the way she came. ->Doubleback2.]] (if:$hasFridgecheck is false)[[[→ Examine the fridge. ->Fridge.]]]

Julia turns and leaves the stinky kitchen, walking [[back the way she came.->Main Office, Left Aisle]]

She reaches into the trashbin and scoops out... a Smurf! He tips his little white hat at Julia. (text-colour:navy)["//I knew you wouldn't abandon me!"//] He pulls out a bottle of dark, viscous liquid and [[hands it to her.]]

(text-colour:red)[''JULIA BROWN DOES NOT NEGOTIATE WITH TERRORISTS.''] (text-colour:red)[''JULIA BROWN WOULD NOT SUFFER THIS BUREAUCRATIC BULLSH*T.''] [[Get back in there and fight! ->TapeAttack.]] (set: $Quitter4 to true)

Julia struggles against the red tape! Finally, she manages to free one hand and goes for an attack. (if: $hasChicken is true)[She smacks the tape into submission with her rubber chicken! The creature retreats, slithering away.](if: $hasCanesword is true)[She slices the tape with her canesword, sending ribbons of bureaucratic bullsh*t to the conference room floor.](if: $hasCorkscrew is true)[She drills her way out of the tangle with her electric corkscrew, leaving ribbony shrapnel in her wake.](if: $hasBlowdart is true)[She pulls out a blowdart and stabs the tape over and over, rendering it useless.](if: $isUnarmed is true)[She grabs loops of red tape with her bare hands and, with a mighty //roar//, rips it to shreds.] --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do now?//''] [[→ Search the conference room for the applications.]] [[→ Leave through the double doors and check the office. ->Main Office, Right Aisle.]]

Julia cries out for help! But she only hears... //laughter?// Coming from upstairs. --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Use her weapon to free herself. ->TapeAttack.]] [[→ Call out again.]]

She checks under the conference table, in the server closet, along the walls. //No applications anywhere!// In the basket under the TV, she finds a strange (text-colour:orange)[key]. "But to what...?" Julia muses, [[pocketing the key. ->Conference Room2]] (set: $hasKey to true)

"Who's up there?" Julia shouts. "You better have a valid rental agreement!" But there's no response. With a growl, Julia tries to [[free herself. ->TapeAttack.]]

As she moves to search near the mini-fridge, she notices something... dark... slithering inside the Keurig water chamber. --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Inspect the Keurig. -> InspectKeurig.]] [[→ Report it to Emily. ->EmilyReport]] [[→ Back slowly away. ->Nope nope nope.]]

As Julia steps up to the coffee maker and gently lifts the lid... (link: "//click to reveal...//")[(text-colour:purple)+(text-style:"rumble")[A SHADOW KRAKEN ATTACKS!] Its dark tentacle wraps around her wrist and tries to pull her into the watery depths.] --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Attack the Kraken! ->KrakenAttack.]] [[→ Improvize.]] (if: $isUnarmed is true)[[→ Slap the tentacle! ->Tentacle Slap]]

"Nope nope nope," Julia whispers to herself, backing out of the double doors and [[into the main office. ->Main Office, Right Aisle.]]

Julia scoops up a post-it and writes: ''//"Emily - I think something's wrong with the Keurig."//'' As she places the post-it on the coffee maker, she sees a shadowy tentacle brush against the plastic. She hurries [[out of the conference room. ->Main Office, Right Aisle.]]

As Julia moves past the Apprentice desks, she notices the script scrap tubs are totally empty. "Huh," she says. "That's odd." --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Search the office for applications.]] [[→ Check Jeremy's office. ->JC's door.]]

Julia attacks! (if: $hasChicken is true)[She beats the writhing tentacle with her chicken cudgel, and the Shadow Kraken retreats into the Keurig.](if: $hasCanesword is true)[With her canesword, she slashes the tentacle off, and the shadowy stump retreats into the Keurig.](if: $hasCorkscrew is true)[She pierces the tentacle with her spiraling corkscrew, and the Shadow Kraken retreats into the Keurig.](if: $hasBlowdart is true)[With a blast of mighty breath, she fires a blowdart at the Shadow Kraken, and it retreats into the Keurig.] Then, she swings open the double doors and [[leaves the conference room. ->Main Office, Right Aisle.]]

Julia grabs handful after handful of K-cups, throwing them at the tentacle until it slithers back into its watery chamber. She slams the lid back down. "This is why you're supposed to //empty it,// Robert." Julia sighs. Then, she swings open the double doors and [[leaves the conference room. ->Main Office, Right Aisle.]]

Julia knocks on Jeremy's door. Nothing. She tries the doorknob. It's locked. "Where the heck //is// he?" she asks. Just then, she hears the familiar creak of floorboards, above. --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Call out. ->ShoutUpstairs.]] [[→ Head upstairs, toward the theater. ->Upstairs to Theater.]]

"There must be dark chocolate here //somewhere...//" As Julia investigates Hannah's desk, a sparkly, rainbow miasma begins to coalesce... --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Back away. ->Leave Hannah's Cube.]] [[→ Freeze. ->HoldStill.]] [[→ Ready her weapon. ->ReadyWeapon.]]

As Julia backs away from Hannah's cubicle, the cloud solidifies... into an inflatable unicorn head? It grins at her. (background:(gradient: 230, 0,#ffffff,0,#e61919,0.1712,#e68019,0.3288,(hsl:60,0.8039,0.5,0.3),0.4946,#19e619,0.6356,#1919e6,0.7579,#7f19e6,0.932,#e619e5))+(text-colour:white)[//"Oh, hello there! I'm Charles Bukowski!"//] Julia takes another half-step back. (background:(gradient: 230, 0,#ffffff,0,#e61919,0.1712,#e68019,0.3288,(hsl:60,0.8039,0.5,0.3),0.4946,#19e619,0.6356,#1919e6,0.7579,#7f19e6,0.932,#e619e5))+(text-colour:white)[//"No need to fear, darling, I have something here you might like!"//] A rainbow arcs down from the back of his head, pointing toward a box under Hannah's desk. --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Follow the rainbow.]] [[→ Politely decline.]]

The cloud solidifies... into a smiling unicorn head. (background:(gradient: 230, 0,#ffffff,0,#e61919,0.1712,#e68019,0.3288,(hsl:60,0.8039,0.5,0.3),0.4946,#19e619,0.6356,#1919e6,0.7579,#7f19e6,0.932,#e619e5))+(text-colour:white)[//"Hello there! I'm Charles Bukowski, Inflatable Unicorn Bust."//] "Oh, I remember you!" Julia says. (background:(gradient: 230, 0,#ffffff,0,#e61919,0.1712,#e68019,0.3288,(hsl:60,0.8039,0.5,0.3),0.4946,#19e619,0.6356,#1919e6,0.7579,#7f19e6,0.932,#e619e5))+(text-colour:white)[//"I've been keeping the PWC joyful in your absence!"//] he exclaims. (background:(gradient: 230, 0,#ffffff,0,#e61919,0.1712,#e68019,0.3288,(hsl:60,0.8039,0.5,0.3),0.4946,#19e619,0.6356,#1919e6,0.7579,#7f19e6,0.932,#e619e5))+(text-colour:white)[//"Here, take this. May it bring you joy!"//] A rainbow arcs down from the back of his head, pointing toward a box under Hannah's desk. --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Follow the rainbow.]] [[→ Politely decline.]]

(if: $hasChicken is true)[Julia tightens her grip on the rubber chicken's legs.](if: $hasCanesword is true)[Julia adjusts her grip on the canesword's hilt.](if: $hasCorkscrew is true)[Julia revs the corkscrew, ready for combat.](if: $hasBlowdart is true)[Julia loads her dartgun, ready for a fight.](if: $isUnarmed is true)[Julia raises her fists, ready for a fight.] A unicorn head appears in front of her. (background:(gradient: 230, 0,#ffffff,0,#e61919,0.1712,#e68019,0.3288,(hsl:60,0.8039,0.5,0.3),0.4946,#19e619,0.6356,#1919e6,0.7579,#7f19e6,0.932,#e619e5))+(text-colour:white)[//"No need for violence."//] --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Ah! Attack! ->UnicornAttack.]] [[→ Put the weapon away. ->UnicornConvo]]

(if: $hasChicken is true)[Julia swings at the unicorn head.](if: $hasCanesword is true)[Julia swings at the unicorn head.](if: $hasCorkscrew is true)[Julia stabs at the unicorn head.](if: $hasBlowdart is true)[Julia fires a dart at the unicorn head.](if: $isUnarmed is true)[Julia throws a punch at the unicorn head.] (background:(gradient: 230, 0,#ffffff,0,#e61919,0.1712,#e68019,0.3288,(hsl:60,0.8039,0.5,0.3),0.4946,#19e619,0.6356,#1919e6,0.7579,#7f19e6,0.932,#e619e5))+(text-colour:white)[//"How very rude!"//] The unicorn head puffs away in a little glittering burst. (background:(gradient: 230, 0,#ffffff,0,#e61919,0.1712,#e68019,0.3288,(hsl:60,0.8039,0.5,0.3),0.4946,#19e619,0.6356,#1919e6,0.7579,#7f19e6,0.932,#e619e5))+(text-colour:white)[//"And I was going to give you a gift...."//] --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do now?//''] [[→ Keep searching for chocolate. ->ChocolateSearch.]] [[→ Leave Hannah's desk and check Jeremy's office. ->JC's door.]]

The cloud solidifies... into a smiling unicorn head. (background:(gradient: 230, 0,#ffffff,0,#e61919,0.1712,#e68019,0.3288,(hsl:60,0.8039,0.5,0.3),0.4946,#19e619,0.6356,#1919e6,0.7579,#7f19e6,0.932,#e619e5))+(text-colour:white)[//"Hello there! I'm Charles Bukowski, Inflatable Unicorn Bust."//] "Oh, I remember you!" Julia says. (background:(gradient: 230, 0,#ffffff,0,#e61919,0.1712,#e68019,0.3288,(hsl:60,0.8039,0.5,0.3),0.4946,#19e619,0.6356,#1919e6,0.7579,#7f19e6,0.932,#e619e5))+(text-colour:white)[//"I've been keeping the PWC joyful in your absence!//] he exclaims. (background:(gradient: 230, 0,#ffffff,0,#e61919,0.1712,#e68019,0.3288,(hsl:60,0.8039,0.5,0.3),0.4946,#19e619,0.6356,#1919e6,0.7579,#7f19e6,0.932,#e619e5))+(text-colour:white)[//"Here, take this. May it bring you joy!//] A rainbow arcs down from the back of his head, pointing toward a box under Hannah's desk. --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Follow the rainbow.]] [[→ Politely decline.]]

Julia searches Hannah's office high and low, but finds no sign of chocolate (or applications). She sighs and moves toward [[Jeremy's office. ->JC's door.]]

(set: $hasDragonmask to true) Julia follows the glitting rainbow down, under Hannah's desk, where it points to a box of long-forgotten desk wine. She reaches inside past the dusty bottles and finds... (link: "//click to reveal...//")[(text-colour:purple)+(background:white)+(text-style:"buoy")[''The Mask of the Dragon Queen!''] She slips the mask [[into her purse.]]]

"Uh, I'm good bro," Julia says. "Thanks anyway." (background:(gradient: 230, 0,#ffffff,0,#e61919,0.1712,#e68019,0.3288,(hsl:60,0.8039,0.5,0.3),0.4946,#19e619,0.6356,#1919e6,0.7579,#7f19e6,0.932,#e619e5))+(text-colour:white)[//"Suit yourself, friend!"//] Charles Bukowski says. Then, Charles puffs away in a little glittering burst. --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ One last look for chocolate. ->ChocolateSearch.]] [[→ Leave Hannah's desk and check Jeremy's office. ->JC's door.]]

"Thanks, Charles!" Julia says. "Masks are handy these days." (background:(gradient: 230, 0,#ffffff,0,#e61919,0.1712,#e68019,0.3288,(hsl:60,0.8039,0.5,0.3),0.4946,#19e619,0.6356,#1919e6,0.7579,#7f19e6,0.932,#e619e5))+(text-colour:white)[//"My pleasure!"//] he replies, then puffs away in a little glittering burst. Julia leaves Hannah's desk and moves toward [[Jeremy's office. ->JC's door.]]

"Hey, who's up there?" Julia shouts. "Is that you, Jeremy?" "//Who else// would it be?!" A voice snaps back. Julia turns and walks through the doorway, [[toward the stairs leading up. ->Upstairs to Theater.]]

Julia hurries up the stairs, rounding past the front doors and moving up toward the lobby. Just as she passes the lighting closet, she hears a faint rustling inside. --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Investigate the closet. ->Lighting closet.]] [[→ Ignore the sound and move into the lobby. ->Lobby1.]]

Julia looks around: on bookshelves, on desks, on the church pew. //Where are these applications?// She thinks. //Where is Jeremy?!// She sighs and moves towards [[Cohen's office. ->JC's door.]]

She tries the doorknob. It's locked. (if:$hasKey is true)["But maybe..." Julia says, fishing the mysterious (text-colour:orange)[key] out of her pocket.](if:$hasKey is false)["Ah, well," Julia says. "It's probably some terrible thing out to kill me."] (if:$hasKey is true)[She slips the (text-colour:orange)[key] into the lock: //it works!//](if:$hasKey is false) [She continues on, [[into the lobby. ->Lobby1.]]] (if:$hasKey is true)[Julia opens the [[door to the lighting closet. ->Inside Closet.]]]

She runs her fingers along the red velvet divider curtain as she steps into the lobby. Everything seems normal, save for the closed bathroom door and the //"For Julia"// sign on the freezer. --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Head straight into the theater. ->Enter theater.]] [[→ See what's in the freezer. ->Check Lobby Freezer.]] [[→ Check out the bathroom. ->Check Lobby Bathroom.]] (set: $hasUpperBathroomCheck to false) (set: $hasUpperFridgecheck to false)

She eases open the closet door and flicks on the light: stacks of chairs, a few wine boxes, a thick layer of dust. All as it should be. --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Close the door and leave. ->Leave Closet.]] [[→ Turn on the Techno Beams. ->Turn on Lights.]]

Julia turns off the light, shuts the closet door, and continues [[into the Lobby. ->Lobby1.]]

She flips the switch, then leans out of the closet to see the familiar neon colors shifting in the belfry. But then: (link: "//click to reveal...//")[(text-style:"rumble")[''//WHAM!//''] A trashcan tumbles from the tower and [[lands on Julia's head!]]]

A bat sweeps down from the belfry, cackling. //"Let's see how YOU like it, dirty human! Ahahah!"// --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Attack! ->Attack with her weapon.]] [[→ Throw the trashcan.]]

With a mighty //heave,// Julia flings the trashcan back at the flapping tower rat. //"Gahhh!"// it shrieks, dodging. //"Foiled again!"// The furious bat zooms back up into the belfry, muttering something about "revenge" and "an army of flies." Julia dusts herself off and [[moves into the lobby. ->Lobby1.]]

As Julia steps into the darkened black box, she feels... a strange aura. Something is //very wrong// in the Waring Jones Theater. The stage lights snap on to reveal... (link: "//click to reveal...//")[''Jeremy Cohen,'' standing atop a heaping pile of paper applications! "Finally!" he groans, "Come gather these applications //and quickly!//"] --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Rush forward to the applications. ->Gather Apps.]] [[→ Say nothing, remain where she is. -> Silence and remain.]] [[→ Say, "What the eff, Jeremy?" and remain where she is. ->Question and remain.]]

(set: $hasUpperBathroomCheck to true) Julia approaches the closed door. "Hello...?" she asks, knocking. (link: "//click to reveal...//")["Sorry!" a chipper female voice replies. "I'm on a Zoom call!"] --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Leave her alone.]] [[→ Open the bathroom door. -> Open lobby bathroom door.]]

(set: $hasUpperFridgecheck to true) Julia cautiously opens the freezer to reveal... (link: "//click to reveal...//")[(text-colour:white)+(text-style:"bold","buoy")+(background:purple)[Armor of Resistance to ALL the Nonsense!] An accompanying note says: //"Thought you might want to borrow this, so I put it in the freezer to keep it fresh." ~Alayna.// Julia equips the BS-blocking armor and [[continues on. ->Lobby choice 2.]]] (set: $hasArmor to true)

Julia adjusts the armor, then glances around the lobby. (if: $hasUpperBathroomCheck is true)[With no place left to investigate, she pulls open the door to the theater and [[steps inside. ->Enter theater.]]] (if: $hasUpperBathroomCheck is false)[--- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Investigate the bathroom. ->Check Lobby Bathroom.]] [[→ Head into the theater.->Enter theater.]]]

"Oh, uh, sorry?" Julia says, backing away from the bathroom. (if: $hasUpperFridgecheck is true)[With no place left to investigate, she pulls open the door to the theater and [[steps inside. ->Enter theater.]]] (if: $hasUpperFridgecheck is false)[--- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Check out the freezer. ->Check Lobby Freezer.]] [[→ Head into the theater.->Enter theater.]]]

Julia pushes open the bathroom door to reveal... (link: "//click to reveal...//")[(text-colour:red)+(text-style:"fidget")[A blindly optimistic soccer mom embroiled in a multi-level marketing scheme!] "Omigod, //hey!//" she says, muting her microphone. "Do you want to buy some all-natural-vegan-cruelty-free mascara? Or maybe some super-high-impact-vitamin supplement suppositories?!"] --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Back away slowly. ->Leave bathroom slow.]] [[→ Back away quickly. ->Leave bathroom quickly.]]

"Um, yeah, //no,//" Julia says, backing out of the bathroom and shutting the door. (if: $hasUpperFridgecheck is true)[With no place left to investigate, she pulls open the door to the theater and [[steps inside. ->Enter theater.]]] (if: $hasUpperFridgecheck is false)[--- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Check out the freezer. ->Check Lobby Freezer.]] [[→ Head into the theater.->Enter theater.]]]

Julia slams the door, then drags the watercooler in front of it as a makeshift barricade. (if: $hasUpperFridgecheck is true)[With no place left to investigate, she pulls open the door to the theater and [[steps inside. ->Enter theater.]]] (if: $hasUpperFridgecheck is false)[--- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Check out the freezer. ->Check Lobby Freezer.]] [[→ Head into the theater.->Enter theater.]]]

"I'll save you, playwrights!" Julia shouts, running forward to collect the applications. But as she approaches the pile, Jeremy lashes out with [[a backhand swipe!]]

"What are you doing?!" Jeremy roars. He gestures down to the applications at his feet. "These are //playwrights' dreams// we're talking about!" --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Pull out her weapon. ->Weapons out.]] [[→ Investigate the situation. -> Investigate JC.]] [[→ Get the heck outta here! ->QUITTER6.]]

"What in the absolute eff is going on, Jeremy Cohen?" Julia shouts. (link: "//click to reveal...//")[The figure chuckles. //"Who said I was Jeremy Cohen...?"//] --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Assess the situation.]] (if: $hasChicken is true)[[[→ Pull out her weapon!->→ Pull out her weapon!]]](if: $hasCanesword is true)[[[→ Pull out her weapon!->→ Pull out her weapon!]]](if: $hasCorkscrew is true)[[[→ Pull out her weapon!->→ Pull out her weapon!]]](if: $hasBlowdart is true)[[[→ Pull out her weapon!->→ Pull out her weapon!]]](if: $isUnarmed is true)[[[→ Raise her fists, ready to fight!->→ Pull out her weapon!]]]

//It connects!// (if: $hasArmor is true)[Julia tumbles to the floor but isn't injured, thanks to the still-chilly armor!](if: $hasArmor is false) [Julia tumbles to the floor. She hits hard, the wind knocked out of her.] (if: $hasArmor is true)["I'm telling //HR!"// she growls, leaping up to her feet.](if: $hasArmor is false)["I'm gonna tell //HR!"// she gasps, pushing up to her feet.] Jeremy only smirks, cracking his knuckles. --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Investigate the situation. -> Investigate JC.]] [[→ Pull out her weapon. ->Weapons out.]] [[→ Go for the applications again. ->Application dash.]] [[→ Flee! ->QUITTER5.]]

Julia's eyes dart about the room. Jeremy looks strange... is he //taller// than normal? And the papers at his feet. Those aren't applications... those are... [[script scraps? ->script scraps?]]

(if: $hasChicken is true)[Julia pulls out the rubber chicken.](if: $hasCanesword is true)[Julia unsheathes the silvery sword.](if: $hasCorkscrew is true)[Julia revs the electric corkscrew.](if: $hasBlowdart is true)[Julia loads a dart into the tube.](if: $isUnarmed is true)[Julia bounces on her toes, ready for fisticuffs.] (link: "//click to reveal...//")[Jeremy grins in response, seemingly eager for a fight. He makes an arcane gesture and, with a flicker of dark energy... the scripts at his feet began swirling through the air. "Well then, Julia Brown. Let's [[test your resolve." ->ScrapGolem!]]]

Julia grits her teeth and runs for the applications. She ducks, dodging another strike from Cohen, then slides across the stage floor, scooping up an armful of papers. But as she examines them: (link: "//click to reveal...//")["Script scrap pages...?" Julia asks. [[Jeremy laughs. ->ScriptScrap]]]

(text-colour:red)[''JULIA BROWN FEARS NO MAN OR BEAST.''] (text-colour:red)[''JULIA BROWN IS THE XENA OF OUR GENERATION.''] [[Get back in there ya' coward. -> Theater 2nd Chance.]] (set: $Quitter5 to true)

Jeremy gestures down to the applications. "What's it going to be, Julia Brown?" --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does she do?//''] [[→ Investigate the situation. -> Investigate JC.]] (if: $hasChicken is true)[[[→ Ready her weapon. ->Weapons out.]]](if: $hasCanesword is true)[[[→ Ready her weapon. ->Weapons out.]]](if: $hasCorkscrew is true)[[[→ Ready her weapon. ->Weapons out.]]](if: $hasBlowdart is true)[[[→ Ready her weapon. ->Weapons out.]]] [[→ Run for the applications again. ->Application dash.]] (if: $isUnarmed is true)[[[→ Prepare for a fight. ->Weapons out.]]]

Jeremy makes an arcane gesture and, with a flash of dark magic... the scripts began swirling through the air, as if caught in a cyclone. "Well then, Julia Brown. Let's [[test your resolve.->ScrapGolem!]]"

(text-colour:red)[''JULIA BROWN ISN'T SCARED.''] (text-colour:red)[''JULIA BROWN AIN'T GOING NOWHERE.''] [[Get back in there ya' coward. -> TheaterB 2nd Chance.]] (set: $Quitter6 to true)

"Well? Jeremy sneers. "Nothing to say?" --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Say, "What the heck is going on?" ->Question and remain.]] [[→ Equip her weapon. ->Weapons out.]] [[→ Examine the room. -> Investigate JC.]]

Julia's eyes dart about the room. (link: "//click to reveal...//")[Jeremy looks strange... is he taller than normal? And the papers at his feet. Those aren't applications... those are... [[script scraps?]]]

(if: $hasChicken is true)[Julia pulls out the rubber chicken.](if: $hasCanesword is true)[Julia unsheathes the silvery sword.](if: $hasCorkscrew is true)[Julia revs the electric corkscrew.](if: $hasBlowdart is true)[Julia loads a dart into the tube.](if: $isUnarmed is true)[Julia assumes a fighting stance.] Jeremy grins, making an arcane gesture. With a flash of shadowy magic, the scripts began swirling through the air, as if caught in a cyclone! "Let's [[test your resolve->ScrapGolem!]], Julia Brown...."

The swirling papers coalesce into a... (link: "//click to reveal...//")[(text-colour:red)+(text-style:"rumble")[SCRIPT SCRAP GOLEM!] [It //roars// and lifts its dialogue-laden arms, preparing to attack.]] --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Attack! ->Attack Golem1.]] [[→ Defend! -> Defend Golem1.]] (if: $hasTarwater is true)[[[→ Wait, uh, is something vibrating in my pocket? ->TarWater time]]]

(if: $hasChicken is true)[She charges toward the Golem, her rubber chicken held high!](if: $hasCanesword is true)[She charges toward the Golem, her gleaming canesword held high!](if: $hasCorkscrew is true)[She charges toward the Golem, her electric corkscrew buzzing in anticipation!](if: $hasBlowdart is true)[She charges toward the Golem, one razor-sharp dart loaded in the chamber and more at the ready!](if: $isUnarmed is true)[She charges toward the Golem, fists ready to fly!] But as she nears, the creature leaps aside, dodging the blow! --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Try a //different// attack! ->Attack Golem2.]] [[→ Assume a defensive position. -> Defend Golem2.]]

The Golem charges forward for a one-two punch.... But Julia is ready! She deftly side-steps the blow, avoiding injury. --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do next?//''] [[→ Try and attack the Golem! ->Attack Golem2.]] [[→ Defend. -> Defend Golem2.]]

Julia pulls out the little vial of ''Tar Water''. It (text-style:"shudder")[//buzzes//] in her hand, seemingly responding to the golem. --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Drink the Tar Water. ->Drink]] [[→ Throw the Tar Water at the Golem. ->Throw.]] [[→ Put the Tar Water away. ->Put Away.]]

Jeremy's eyes follow Julia's gaze down to the paper pile. "I //knew// you'd be too smart for a trap," he says, chuckling. (link: "//click to reveal...//")[He makes an arcane gesture and, with a flash of shadowy magic... the scripts began swirling through the air. "Well then, Julia Brown. Let's [[test your resolve.->ScrapGolem!]]"]

Julia flicks the cork from the vial and downs the oily liquid in a single gulp. For a moment, she feels incredible... //invincible!// Then.... (link: "//click to reveal...//")[(text-colour:green)+(text-style:"shudder")[''HOOOOOORK!''] Julia projectile vomits [[all over the Golem. ->Drink2.]]]

"Here goes nothing," Julia mutters as she uncorks the vial and showers the Golem with the oily liquid. It spatters across the creature's chest, leaving dark splotches on its torso. The Golem pokes at the dark stains, chuckling to itself. But then... (link: "//click to reveal...//")[tendrils of smoke begin curling up from the [[Golem's torso!->Throw 2.]]]

"I don't have time for //chemistry experiments!//" Julia shouts, shoving the dark, buzzing vial back into her pack. The Golem sees the momentary opening and attacks! He sends a papery fist thundering down on Julia's head. --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Brace herself for the blow! ->Brace.]] [[→ Attempt to counter attack! ->Counterattack.]] (if: $hasArmor is true)[[[→ Block the attack with her armor! ->ArmorBlock.]]]

The Golem's arm //thunders// down upon Julia's head and she collapses to the floor in a shower of scene snippets. Jeremy chuckles darkly as she pushes to her feet. --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do now?//''] [[→ Attack the creature! ->Attack Golem1.]] [[→ Take a defensive stance. -> Defend Golem1.]]

As the Golem's arm comes raining down on Julia's head, she tries to duck and and she collapses to the floor in a shower of scene snippets. Jeremy chuckles darkly as she pushes to her feet. --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Attack the beast! ->Attack Golem1.]] [[→ Go on the defensive. -> Defend Golem1.]]

As the Golem's arm //thunders// down upon Julia's head, she lifts her //No Nonsense// armored arm and deflects the blow, sending the papery beast stumbling backward. "No one uses new plays against //me.//" Julia sneers. --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do now?//''] [[→ Attack the beast! ->Attack Golem1.]] [[→ Go on the defensive. -> Defend Golem1.]]

Both Jeremy and the Golem laugh as they look down at the splattered mess across the creature's torso. "A Hero that can't hold her potions? //Pathetic!//" Jeremy scoffs. But then... (link: "//click to reveal...//")[tendrils of smoke begin to curl up from [[the Golem.->Throw 2.]]]

The Golem howls in pain, smoke now billowing from its body! In moments, the creature collapses into a lifeless heap of dramaturgy. "Fine," Jeremy mutters, readying another spell. "I'll deal with you //myself.//" --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Attack Jeremy with her weapon! ->Attack JC1.]] [[→ Assume a defensive posture! ->Defend JC1.]]

Julia rushes toward Jeremy, ignoring the swirling ice crystals forming in his palms. (if: $hasChicken is true)[She //swings// at him with her chicken-mace!](if: $hasCanesword is true)[She //slashes// at him with her canesword!](if: $hasCorkscrew is true)[She //attacks// with her electric corkscrew!](if: $hasBlowdart is true)[She //launches// a dart from her blowgun!](if: $isUnarmed is true)[She //swings// her fist at him!] But with a wave of his hand, Jeremy summons a frigid cloud that deflects the blow and covers the floor with a slick patina of ice! --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Retreat back from the ice. ->Ice Retreat.]] [[→ Go for a second attack! ->Attack JC2.]]

Julia digs in her heels, ready for Jeremy's attack. (if: $hasArmor is true)[She slams one fist against her armored chest, taunting.] "Come and get it, Cohen!" she shouts. Jeremy sneers as he completes his spell. An ice sheet explodes from his fingertips and races across the floor! --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Retreat back from the ice. ->Ice Retreat.]] [[→ Rush in for an attack! ->Attack JC2.]]

Julia shifts her stance. As the Golem rushes in with a powerful overhead swing.... She whips out her leg, tripping the creature with a Karate-style leg sweep and sending it [[sprawling across the floor!->tumbling to the floor!]]

The Golem //roars!// It rushes at Julia with an overhead swing! But Julia positions her feet, prepared, patient.... (link: "//click to reveal...//")[As the Golem nears, she grabs its arm and uses an Aikido-style throw to send it [[tumbling to the floor!]]]

"Just like Katie taught me," Julia says, dusting off her hands. Then, she rushes forward to attack the [[prone Golem!->Prone Golem Attack]]

(if: $hasChicken is true)[Julia whips out her rubber chicken and pounds the papery creature into a crumpled, lifeless heap.](if: $hasCanesword is true)[With a satisfying //shiiing//, Julia whips her sword from its cane-holster and slashes the papery creature to shreds.](if: $hasCorkscrew is true)[Julia stabs the papery creature with the electric corkscrew, sending a shower of scriptfetti to the stage floor.](if: $hasBlowdart is true)[Julia loads dart after dart into the chamber, piercing the papery creature until it collapses into a lifeless heap of abandoned scenework.](if: $isUnarmed is true)[Julia pounds her fists into the papery creature, leaving a crumpled lifeless heap.] His Golem defeated, Jeremy curses under his breath. "Fine," he mutters, readying another spell. "I'll deal with you //myself.//" --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Attack Jeremy! ->Attack JC1.]] [[→ Assume a defensive posture! ->Defend JC1.]]

Julia skitters back from the slickened floor. "Ugh," she grumbles. "And we //just// painted." Jeremy waves his hands, another somatic gesture, and the chairs behind Julia begin to lift off the ground.... --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Defend against Jeremy. ->Defend JC2.]] [[→ Defend against the chairs. ->Chairs Defend.]] [[→ Brave the ice and charge in to attack! ->Attack JC3.]]

As he moves to rain icy destruction down on her, Julia dives, sliding along the slick floor to flank him! (if: $hasChicken is true)[She strikes with her mighty rubber chicken, sending Jeremy sprawling on the icy, script-covered floor!](if: $hasCanesword is true)[She swipes with her canesword, striking Jeremy in the back and sending him sprawling on the icy, script-covered floor!](if: $hasCorkscrew is true)[She strikes at Jeremy's back with her powerful corkscrew, sending him sprawling on the icy, script-covered floor!](if: $hasBlowdart is true)[She fires off three darts into Jeremy's back, sending him sprawling on the icy, script-covered floor!](if: $isUnarmed is true)[She gives three quick jabs and a left hook, sending Jeremy sprawling on the icy, script-covered floor!] --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do now?//''] [[→ Attack him again while he's down! ->Attack JC2.5.]] [[→ Wait and see what he does.... ->Wait on JC.]]

Julia turns her attention to the floating chairs, bracing herself for impact. (if: $hasArmor is true)[//My armor will surely protect me from telekinetic nonsense!// she thinks.] Just as one of the chairs begins to tremble... (link: "//click to reveal...//")[(text-style:"italic","shudder")+(text-colour:white)[''BAM!''] Jeremy blasts Julia from behind with an icy attack! The cold takes her [[breath away. ->JC Vanish.]]]

Julia skids along the ice, closing in on the figure. "Begone, Fake and/or Evil Jeremy Cohen!" Julia shouts, attacking. (if: $hasChicken is true)[But as she brings her rubbery cudgel down, Jeremy's form vanishes!](if: $hasCanesword is true)[But as she brings her canesword down, Jeremy's form vanishes!](if: $hasCorkscrew is true)[But as she goes for a strike with her electric screwdriver, Jeremy's form vanishes!](if: $hasBlowdart is true)[But as she shoots a blowdart from her gun, Jeremy's form vanishes!](if: $isUnarmed is true)[But as she goes for a powerful left hook, Jeremy's form vanishes!] --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Stay here, at the ready. ->Holding for Dragon.]] [[→ Run for the door. ->Run from theater.]]

Julia keeps her eyes fixed on on Jeremy, ready for a fresh attack. He smiles, saying, "Why don't you take a seat?" (link: "//click to reveal...//")[(text-style:"italic","shudder")[''CRASH!''] One of the levitating chairs slams into Julia, sending her [[stumbling to the side. ->JC Vanish.]]]

Julia keeps her eyes fixed on on Jeremy, ready for a fresh attack. (link: "//click to reveal...//")[He smiles, saying, "Why don't you take a seat...?" (text-style:"italic","shudder")[''CRASH!''] A levitating chair slams into Julia from behind, sending her [[stumbling forward. ->JC Vanish.]]]

"Begone, Fake and/or Evil Jeremy Cohen!" Julia shouts. (if: $hasChicken is true)[But as she brings her rubbery cudgel down, Jeremy's form vanishes!](if: $hasCanesword is true)[But as she brings her canesword down, Jeremy's form vanishes!](if: $hasCorkscrew is true)[But as she goes for a finishing blow with her electric screwdriver, Jeremy's form vanishes!](if: $hasBlowdart is true)[But as she shoots a blowdart from her gun, Jeremy's form vanishes!](if: $isUnarmed is true)[But as she goes for a powerful left hook, Jeremy's form vanishes!] --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Stay here, at the ready. ->Holding for Dragon.]] [[→ Run for the door. ->Run from theater.]]

Julia stands, her body tense, surrounded by melting ice and soggy script pages. No sign of her enemy. "Who are you?!" she shouts. "Why are you doing this?" (link: "//click to reveal...//")[A thundering voice suddenly (text-style:"bold","shudder")[//booms//] from the [[lobby. ->Dragon reveal.]]]

Julia slips and slides her way across the fast-melting ice and sodden script pages, heading for the lobby. Just as she's about to reach the door, she hears the sound of //huge claws// settling into the hardwood floor outside. "Who or... //what// are you?!" [[she shouts. ->Dragon reveal.]]

The voice shakes the rafters, sending dust down on Julia's head. (text-colour:red)[''"I AM EZZAIS, ANCIENT DRAGON OF FIRE AND ICE."''] (link: "//click to reveal...//")[(text-colour:red)[''"AND YOU, JULIA BROWN, HAVE REJECTED MY FELLOWSHIP APPLICATION FOR THE FINAL TIME."''] "Oh for Pete's sake," Julia shouts back, "I don't do the [[selections!"->Fire Door!]]]

As Julia steadies herself and turns to face Jeremy... He vanishes in a swirl of dark energy! --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do now?//''] [[→ Stay here, at the ready. ->Holding for Dragon.]] [[→ Dash for the door. ->Run from theater.]]

(text-colour:red)+(text-style:"rumble")[''"SILENCE!"''] The wall suddenly explodes in a burst of firebreath! Filling the lobby, blotting out the mid-morning sun: an enormous silvery dragon, with ice-crusted scales and blue-hot flames flickering from its nostrils.... --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ uh....]] [[→ um....]]

Ezzais lets out a beastial //roar//, then sucks in a deep breath. Julia can see flames gathering in the back of his throat.... --- (text-colour:grey)[''//Ahhhhh! What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Attempt to dodge!]] [[→ Try to attack!]] (if: $hasDragonmask is true)[[[→ Wait! The Dragonmask!->UseDragonMask]]]

A wall of hellfire sprays across the Waring Jones Theater! "//Ahhh! Jasmine is gonna be so maaaad!//" Julia screams as she sprints to the side, away from the flames. --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do now?!//''] [[→ Go for an attack, I guess?! ->→ Try to attack!]] [[→ Hide behind the curtain?! ->Hide behind curtain.]]

(if: $hasChicken is true)[Julia grips her rubber chicken, readying herself for an attack.](if: $hasCanesword is true)[Julia grips her canesword, readying herself for an attack.](if: $hasCorkscrew is true)[Julia grips her electric corkscrew, readying herself for an attack.](if: $hasBlowdart is true)[Julia grips her blowdart tube, readying herself for an attack.](if: $isUnarmed is true)[Julia cracks her knuckles, ready to rumble.] But just as she's about to... she feels a powerful magic, blooming from within.... --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What type of magic does Julia channel?//''] [[→ Function.]] [[→ Protection.]] [[→ Damage.]] [[→ Manipulation.]]

Julia scrabbles behind the stage curtain, panting. "What do I //do?!//" she hisses, listening to the sound of the dragon taking another breath. But then... she feels a powerful magic, blooming from within.... --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What type of magic does Julia channel?//''] [[→ Function.]] [[→ Protection.]] [[→ Damage.]] [[→ Manipulation.]]

"Look," she shouts at the dragon. "I'd be happy to give you feedback, but I don't actually make any of the selection decisions...." (link: "//click to reveal...//")[(text-colour:red)[''"I NEED NOT FEEDBACK, MY PLAY IS EXCELLENT,"''] Ezzais bellows, preparing another firebreath. Just then, Julia feels a powerful magic, blooming from within....] --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What type of magic does Julia call upon?//''] [[→ Function.]] [[→ Protection.]] [[→ Damage.]] [[→ Manipulation.]]

Julia reaches deep within and calls upon the power of... (link: "//click to reveal...//")[(text-colour:magenta)+(text-style:"buoy")[''Auto-correct Insta-Highlight Mage Hand!''] A magical hand, clutching a highlighter, appears in the air before the dragon! It dives forward, marking up the creature [[over and over....->Function 2.]]]

Julia channels her energy, calling upon... (link: "//click to reveal...//")[(text-colour:magenta)+(text-style:"buoy")[''The Give-no-F^cks Protection Spell!''] A glittering magenta shield explodes into being around Julia! The dragon growls and goes in for a mighty chomp... but the shield [[rebuffs him! ->Protection2.]]]

Julia reaches into the depths of her soul and, with a somatic gesture of jazz hands, she summons.... (link: "//click to reveal...//")[(text-colour:magenta)+(text-style:"buoy")[''The Circle of Show Choir Power!''] Song fills the air and Julia's feet move in a box-step: a mesmerizing choralography! A runic circle glows on the floor around her, then shatters into an explosion of [[magical sequined shrapnel!->Damage 2.]]]

Julia channels her magical energy, casting.... (link: "//click to reveal...//")[(text-colour:magenta)+(text-style:"buoy")[''The Make-Time-Stand-Still-and-Bend-to-Your-Will Spell!''] A translucent pink wave of energy erupts from Julia's chest, spreading across the room! As it reaches [[the dragon....->Manipulation 2.]]]

(text-colour:red)+(text-style:"rumble")[''"GAAAAH!"''] the Dragon howls as the magical highlighter swipes at him, again and again. (link: "//click to reveal...//")[(text-colour:red)[''"THE INK, IT BURRRRNS!"''] he shrieks, falling to one dragony knee. Julia seizes the opportunity and [[attacks! ->Dragon Attack!]]]

In a flash, Julia is on the dragon! (if: $hasChicken is true)[(text-style:"shudder")["Ahhhhhhhhhhh!"] her battle cry shakes the rafters as she brings down her rubber chicken in a mighty strike.](if: $hasCanesword is true)[(text-style:"shudder")["Ahhhhhhhhhhh!"] her battle cry shakes the rafters as she brings down her canesword in a fearsome slash.](if: $hasCorkscrew is true)[(text-style:"shudder")["Ahhhhhhhhhhh!"] her battle cry shakes the rafters as she brings down her electric corkscrew in a mighty attack.](if: $hasBlowdart is true)[With the power of her bard lungs, Julia launches all the remaining darts, one after the other.](if: $isUnarmed is true)[(text-style:"shudder")["Ahhhhhhhhhhh!"] her battle cry shakes the rafters as she brings down her balled fists in a mighty strike.] (link: "//click to reveal...//")[(text-colour:red)[''"NOOOOOOO!''] Ezzais bellows, cowering before the PWC Hero: [[Julia Brown! ->Dragon Attack2.]]]

(text-colour:red)[''"WHEN DID YOU LEARN MAGIC?!"''] the Dragon roars in frustration. (link: "//click to reveal...//")["The same time I ran out of //f^cks.//" Julia replies. Then, she dashes in for a [[surprise attack!->Dragon Attack!]]]

(text-colour:red)+(text-style:"rumble")[''"SHAAAAAH!"''] the Dragon hisses in pain as the sequins spray his face. (link: "//click to reveal...//")[(text-colour:red)[''"YOUR CHOIR SHOWMANSHIP HAS BLINDED ME!"''] he wails, clawing at the glittering air around him. Julia seizes the opportunity and rushes forward to [[attack! ->Dragon Attack!]]]

(text-colour:red)+(text-style:"buoy")[''"WwwwwWHaaaaAAT IiiiiiS THhhhhiiisssSS NnnnooOOOOOooonnssEEnnnsSSSeeeeee...?"''] Ezzais asks, his voice warped by the slowing of time. "Oh, this spell could come in //very handy// at work," Julia muses. Then, she rushes in to [[attack! ->Dragon Attack!]]

(if: $hasChicken is true)[But //just// as Julia's weapon would sink into dragony flesh...](if: $hasCanesword is true)[But //just// as Julia's weapon would sink into dragony flesh...](if: $hasCorkscrew is true)[But //just// as Julia's weapon would sink into dragony flesh...](if: $hasBlowdart is true)[But //just// as Julia's weapon would sink into dragony flesh...](if: $isUnarmed is true)[But //just// as Julia's fists would sink into dragony flesh...] Ezzais disapparates in a swirling vortex of shadow magic! Then, a voice fills Julia's mind: (link: "//click to reveal...//")[(text-colour:red)["YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF //ME//, JULIA BROWN." "APPLICATION SEASON IS ALWAYS... //JUST AROUND THE CORNER...//"] Julia puffs up, [[unafraid.->Final.]]]

"I've crawled into our attic to troubleshoot the HVAC during a literal gas leak," she bellows. "I've dug out an entire parking lot's worth of snow with a 6-inch mini shovel. I've had people mail me //personalized// post-it conspiracy theories!" "I'm not scared of you!" [[she shouts. ->Final 2.]]

"In fact," Julia continues, "I //welcome// your application, Ezzais." "And I'd be happy to provide you with feedback and/or technical assistance. Because that's what it means... to be a PWC hero." She hears a distant response... as if carried on the wind.... (link: "//click to reveal...//")[(text-colour:red)["... I'LL EMAIL YOU."] [[the Ancient Dragon mutters.-> Final 3.]]]

(if: $hasChicken is true)[Julia holsters her battle-scarred rubber chicken.](if: $hasCanesword is true)[Julia sheaths her sword.](if: $hasCorkscrew is true)[Julia stows her battle-hardened corkscrew](if: $hasBlowdart is true)[Julia holsters her tubegun.](if: $isUnarmed is true)[Julia shakes out her fists.] "I look forward to it," she says, smiling victoriously. (text-style:"bold","italic","buoy")+(text-colour:grey)[THE END.] --- (link:"Start over.")[(goto:"TITLE.")]

With a powerful swing, Julia punches the Zombie Piano Tuner square in the face, knocking it out and sending it tumbling to the floor. She cracks her knuckles and heads [[back down the hallway. -> Into main office.]]

Julia's fist pounds the Sentient Staple Remover out of the air! It shatters on the copyroom floor. "Still got it," she says with a grin as she works her knuckles. --- (text-colour:grey)[''//Where does Julia go next?//''] [[→ The kitchen. ->Kitchen]] [[→ Back to the main office. ->Back to aisle.]]

With an open-palmed slap, Julia smacks the tentacle, over and over, until it slithers back into its watery chamber. She slams the Keurig lid back down. "This is why you're supposed to //empty it,// Robert." Julia sighs. Then, she swings open the double doors and [[leaves the conference room. ->Main Office, Right Aisle.]]

(if: $hasChicken is true)[Wearing the trashcan like a giant helmet, Julia whips out her rubber chicken and takes a two-handed swing.](if: $hasCanesword is true)[Wearing the trashcan like a giant helmet, Julia unsheaths her sword and takes a two-handed swing.](if: $hasCorkscrew is true)[Wearing the trashcan like a giant helmet, Julia whips out her corkscrew takes a stab.](if: $hasBlowdart is true)[Wearing the trashcan like a giant helmet, Julia takes a deep breath and fires a dart between the tiny metal bars.](if: $isUnarmed is true)[Wearing the trashcan like a giant helmet, Julia throws a powerful one-two punch.] //"Gahhh!"// the bat shrieks, dodging. //"Foiled again!"// The furious creature zooms back up into the belfry, muttering something about "revenge" and "an army of flies." Julia tosses the trashcan aside and [[moves into the lobby. ->Lobby1.]]

A wall of hellfire sprays across the Waring Jones Theater! But, as Julia equips the (text-colour:purple)+(background:white)[''The Mask of the Dragon Queen''], a protective aura envelops her, neutralizing the flame! "Best mask I've worn all year!" Julia marvels. --- (text-colour:grey)[''//What does Julia do?//''] [[→ Go in for an attack! ->→ Try to attack!]] [[→ Try and reason with the dragon. ->Dragon reason.]]